Yes, I go to karaoke clubs. And I have something to say. Code of conduct, ethics, repertoire—everything about what you can do in karaoke and what you shouldn’t. Ten lifehacks for a karaoke beginner.
1. Don’t sing ballads
Not in the sense of not singing them at all, but just refrain from slow, sad songs at the wrong moment. Nothing cools down a karaoke night as fast as some bore coming out of the speakers. When guests hit the dance floor and finally start to show some energy, the best thing a performer can do is support it, not nip it in the bud.
2. Don’t argue with the host or sound engineer
Arguing is bad in general, but a conflict with those who determine how you will be announced (and whether you will be announced at all?) and how your song will sound is fraught with trouble. If you are an adept of “the customer is always right,” ask the manager how much time and effort it takes to find a normal sound engineer. No one is saying the staff are saints, but I beg you—solve problems through the administrator. Don’t turn your personal problem into a shared headache.
3. No hardcore non-format
Just don’t. Besides, in most karaoke venues, frankly aggressive tracks, an abundance of profanity, heavy death metal, or severe underground are already banned in the main halls. In a VIP room, you can realize any vocal fantasies and perversions, but the audience in the main hall is not obliged to become your hostages.
4. Avoid rap
You won’t pull it off.
5. Learn the words
You don’t have to be a good singer to sing karaoke. In fact, a lot of wonderful people in karaoke clubs are terrible singers. However, these terrible singers at least know what is about to fly out of their mouths. Spend a couple of minutes before your performance and learn the words. There is nothing more helpless and pathetic than a person staring confusedly at the screen, not understanding what is happening.
6. Fail loudly!
If things are truly terrible, enjoy it. Fail so loudly and brightly that legends will be told about it. Seriously, a bad singer has a million times more fun than another “talent” mumbling Wonderwall a meter away from the microphone.
7. The producer has left the building
Yes, it’s just karaoke, not a talent show. There is no aging man in a brown suit who will nod to the waiter at your table and ask him to pass along a business card. No one is going to judge you. Relax and just enjoy singing.
8. Be kinder to the audience
It’s not their fault that something didn’t work out for you or that you’re in a bad mood. You don’t need to take it out on people who just came to relax in a karaoke club. Throwing the microphone, shouting, swearing, or vulgarity won’t win you any friends, but it will easily get you blacklisted by the establishment.
9. Don’t turn into a critic
A conclusion from the above. There is nothing worse than booing someone’s performance. Even if you do it not publicly, but casually drop it to the performer in the restroom: “karaoke is not your thing.” It is quite possible that, in reality, karaoke is not your thing.
10. Have fun
If you didn’t come to a karaoke club to have fun, then why did you come there at all?
